Jen (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
silentdescant) wrote2006-06-16 01:29 pm
silentdescant) wrote2006-06-16 01:29 pm
rants
First of all, my sexy Dom muse kept me up until 2:30 am. Every time I thought I had finished with whatever I was writing, he'd poke me and say "What? You can't go to sleep yet!" By two, my eyelids were drooping. I finally put a stop to it and went to bed anyway, but I couldn't get to sleep for a while because Mr. Sexy Dom muse was being pouty and angry with me. I'll try my hand at pr0n or something later, to make him feel better.
I am now thinking of soothing music. Funny how really angsty music is soothing to me. It at least gives me a reason to feel like crying. Soft, slow piano music... Shit, I have to practice my ensemble. Deep breaths. More deep breaths. Fuck, I have to eat something before I leave, too. Is Erin going to fix my hair for me? Fuck if I know. I'd better do that too. Ookay, I'm calm now. Well, not exactly calm, but not angry anymore. Sort of. Lingering feelings and all that.
Second, I had to stop by the theatre where I interned a while back to drop off some CDs. I was an intern there for two years, I think. They loved me. I was everyone's favorite, mostly because I actually did the work while my coworkers slacked off. So, I apply for the next quarter's internship and wait for a reply. I wasn't going to feel bad if I didn't get it. I had taken a previous quarter off because I was too busy and I had other things to do, so it wasn't all bad. So I wait for the reply. And I wait. And I wait. And they never got back to me. The theatre manager was what I would consider a friend, but the new tech director didn't know me as well. Maybe he was embarrassed to call and say "Sorry, Jen, your schedule just didn't work out." Isn't it, like, required to call back your prospective employees? Not a word from the manager or the TD.
A few of my friends told me stories about how they loved the theatre, but hated working at this particular one. My friend Josh was kind of like me; a teacher's pet, as it were, and everyone loved him. Then, he and the theatre parted ways (I never got the details), but the next time I saw him, he went on and on about how they screwed him over and weren't very nice and all these horrible things. I didn't believe him. I was sympathetic, but deep down, I always thought "No, that won't happen. I like the manager. I even like the new guy." Though, in truth, I liked the old TD a lot better, even if he was crazy and had to (according to the gossip grapevine) go into therapy for a while.
So, I go to drop off the CDs today. I haven't been in the place for months and I haven't talked to the manager or the TD in even longer. The only contact I have now is with the volunteer manager, and FUCK, I hate ushering. Michelle's nice and she loves having young people like me usher instead of the usual decrepit old hags that talk through the proformance. Anyway, I go into the office, and chat for about a minute with Michelle. I can see the fucking TD across the office (the office layout is weird, just bear with me.) and I can see some other guy waiting around and talking with the manager. I can hear her typing behind the wall. Did any of them say so much as "Hi, Jen, it's been a long time." NO. After all those long, minimum wage hours, after all the unpaid extra hours, after all the consulting, chatting, sucking up even, they didn't even acknowledge me. Fuck, I didn't even like the new TD anyway. Ever since I met him he's been quiet, avoiding me, almost, and doesn't have much of a sense of humor. The old TD, the crazy one, he was a true theatre man. He would break out into strange and hilarious songs on his way to the stage, he would take the piss like I'd never experienced before, he'd tell everyone they're fired, but be really nice to them... He was awesome. Why did he have to leave? Fuck, I hate ushering. No more tech work for me, apparently. I was even up to running lights and sound from the booth! I had it made! Why the fuck did they just drop me?! I want to hit something. Or someone. Like the manager. Even though I like her, she has this way of talking down to everyone without them thinking she's talking down to them. Like, she'd be perfectly nice and friendly, but there were undertones and looks that she'd give... Fuck, fuck FUCK them. *bangs fists on desk*
Oookay, deep breaths. Whoo. I feel better now. On a lighter note, I just bought some sexy lingerie to wear with my fabulous dark green chinese dress to the recital in... TWO HOURS! Fuck, I have to get ready. At least my rant is over. And I should know by now to trust my friends and their horror stories.
A few of my friends told me stories about how they loved the theatre, but hated working at this particular one. My friend Josh was kind of like me; a teacher's pet, as it were, and everyone loved him. Then, he and the theatre parted ways (I never got the details), but the next time I saw him, he went on and on about how they screwed him over and weren't very nice and all these horrible things. I didn't believe him. I was sympathetic, but deep down, I always thought "No, that won't happen. I like the manager. I even like the new guy." Though, in truth, I liked the old TD a lot better, even if he was crazy and had to (according to the gossip grapevine) go into therapy for a while.
So, I go to drop off the CDs today. I haven't been in the place for months and I haven't talked to the manager or the TD in even longer. The only contact I have now is with the volunteer manager, and FUCK, I hate ushering. Michelle's nice and she loves having young people like me usher instead of the usual decrepit old hags that talk through the proformance. Anyway, I go into the office, and chat for about a minute with Michelle. I can see the fucking TD across the office (the office layout is weird, just bear with me.) and I can see some other guy waiting around and talking with the manager. I can hear her typing behind the wall. Did any of them say so much as "Hi, Jen, it's been a long time." NO. After all those long, minimum wage hours, after all the unpaid extra hours, after all the consulting, chatting, sucking up even, they didn't even acknowledge me. Fuck, I didn't even like the new TD anyway. Ever since I met him he's been quiet, avoiding me, almost, and doesn't have much of a sense of humor. The old TD, the crazy one, he was a true theatre man. He would break out into strange and hilarious songs on his way to the stage, he would take the piss like I'd never experienced before, he'd tell everyone they're fired, but be really nice to them... He was awesome. Why did he have to leave? Fuck, I hate ushering. No more tech work for me, apparently. I was even up to running lights and sound from the booth! I had it made! Why the fuck did they just drop me?! I want to hit something. Or someone. Like the manager. Even though I like her, she has this way of talking down to everyone without them thinking she's talking down to them. Like, she'd be perfectly nice and friendly, but there were undertones and looks that she'd give... Fuck, fuck FUCK them. *bangs fists on desk*
Oookay, deep breaths. Whoo. I feel better now. On a lighter note, I just bought some sexy lingerie to wear with my fabulous dark green chinese dress to the recital in... TWO HOURS! Fuck, I have to get ready. At least my rant is over. And I should know by now to trust my friends and their horror stories.
I am now thinking of soothing music. Funny how really angsty music is soothing to me. It at least gives me a reason to feel like crying. Soft, slow piano music... Shit, I have to practice my ensemble. Deep breaths. More deep breaths. Fuck, I have to eat something before I leave, too. Is Erin going to fix my hair for me? Fuck if I know. I'd better do that too. Ookay, I'm calm now. Well, not exactly calm, but not angry anymore. Sort of. Lingering feelings and all that.