with words I thought I'd never speak

Yesterday was my birthday! It was pretty great, just sat around reading fic for most of the day. I still have no job. BUT my film, which was indeed finished, was accepted into a film festival in Sacramento! I am SO EXCITED. \o/!!!! Heading down there mid-August for that, hopefully I can do a lot of networking and talking to people. Still need a job. D:

I have totally failed at keeping up with LJ, I'm sorry. /o\ I really do need to get better about it, I miss LJ. Twitter is still my home, at the moment. In my absence from LJ, I forgot to mention here that I have posted fic! You probably already saw it if you're on twitter or subscribe to me on AO3.

The first, written with sulwen, is the first part of the mpreg omega fic we've been talking about for aaaaages. Adam as the pack's Alpha, Tommy as the only fertile Omega. Kinks include knotting, obviously, and dubcon that goes with the trope, as well as mpreg, underage sex, and some incest (more of that to come in future parts). Born This Way

The second is some very off the cuff Jared/Jensen porn with some of my usual kinks: D/s, comeplay, breathplay... But it's basically fluff. First time really trying out writing J2, which I hope to do lots more. Oh, Baby, Baby

And finally, I wanted to say that sulwen and I have found our next big passion project. We're getting a very early start on next year's spn_j2_bigbang... which is still posting right now for this year, sign ups won't even open for a while yet. But we're REALLY EXCITED. We've been messing around with a lot of ideas, even some original fic, outlining and dabbling and brainstorming, but nothing has felt URGENT in the way this idea does. It's really really great to have that need to tell a story again. And it's probably a good thing we're starting early because lol we can already tell this is gonna be looooong. :D We definitely feel better this way than doing what we did with LBB, jumping into it at the last minute with a 160k fic and not getting it beta'd until like, the day before posting... hahaha hopefully with starting this far in advance, things will fall into place a little easier.

ps: my Jack is the cutest puppy in the entire world, I swear.

Today was the last day of the film festival. I've been BOOKED UP this entire past week, seeing movies or going to panels from 8am to 10pm or even midnight on a couple nights. Barely had time to eat, no time for homework, didn't get much sleep, and I definitely caught a cold. But it was amazing. I've seen a lot of REALLY great stuff. Carnage, with Kate Winslet and Jodie Foster, was amazing, and it played out in real time in one location, I ADORED it. Jeff, Who Lives at Home, which was my last movie of the festival, was excellent and funny and all of the scenes were improvised, which I find fascinating. Also the co-writer/co-director who came to accept the award on behalf of him and his brother, Jay Duplass, was SUPER ADORABLE. The Artist, which was opening night, was gorgeous and really intersting. A silent black & white movie. Butter, with Jennifer Garner and Olivia Wilde, was a surprise hit, and was HILARIOUS. We Need to Talk About Kevin was fucking disturbing but... good? Crazy as hell, but Ezra Miller was great, and he was also in Another Happy Day, which I ADORED. Ellen Barkin and the writer/director Sam Levinson were here with that. Bringing Up Bobby was Famke Janssen's writing/directing debut, and I really enjoyed that a lot, and also she is gorgeous in real life. Ray Liotta was here with The Son of No One, which I thought was really great; it reminded me of The Departed, kind of? Coriolanus was really interesting... Wasn't expecting it to be THAT Shakespearian, but it was, and I thought it really worked. And A Dangerous Method, that was pretty great, and kinky, and kind of funny as well. Loved Kiera Knightly in it. Aaron Eckhart and James Marsden were both here also but I didn't get to see them (though I did see James both in a theater and outside the hotel. LOVE.). The Muppets movie had it's world premiere last night, but I opted not to wait in line to try and get a rush ticket for that, and I also didn't have a ticket for tonight's closing night movie, Like Crazy, but I'm cool with that. I ended on a really great note this afternoon (with Jeff and the Jay Duplass Q&A).

Old movies: I also saw Barry Lyndon, which was... LONG AS FUCK and I thought it was kind of boring, but Alec Baldwin and James Toback came out to talk about it so that was neat, and Born of the Fourth of July, which I hadn't seen either, but that one was really great. Oliver Stone came to talk about that, and to accept an award. Lily Tomlin was also here with The Late Show, and to be honest I remember her more than the movie! She was great, though.

Indie movies: Let Go was really quirky and interesting and definitely cute. And Take Me Home, about a woman who gets in a taxi and they travel from NY to California, that was pretty sweet and cute. There was also A Year in Mooring, with Josh Lucas and James Cromwell (who I saw many times) which was so atmospheric and gorgeous, I really enjoyed it because it didn't go through the traditional Hollywood structure. Inuk was really great too, set in Greenland, and there were no professional actors, it was crazy. All the kids were actually from the children's home up there, and the hunters were actually hunters. It was so great. The guy was a documentary filmmaker with them for a long time before asking them to be in this narrative.

The documentaries that I saw were stunning. To be honest, I think I liked them more than the narrative films. It's much harder to choose a favorite, in any case. PressPausePlay was AMAZING, and it's actually available for download on their site and you should check this shit out. It's right up your alley, and it made me so emotional about art and music and creativity. These Amazing Shadows was about the National Film Registry and it was really great too, and it's going to be on PBS on Dec 29th at 10, you should check that out too. The Bully Project was kind of mindblowing. It was about school bullies, and kids who committed suicide, and it followed a kid around at school and FILMED THE BULLYING and fuck, guys, I was crying my way through that one. The City Dark was about stars and the night sky, and light pollution in cities and even its effect on the human body. It was FASCINATING and also really stunning, but I have a thing for stars and astronomy. They made connections between breast cancer and constant light! I ate that shit up. Oh, and GROW! was about young farmers--young people getting passionate about organic farming. I liked it more than I thought I would, and the filmmakers were around all week, they were pretty great. All of the documentaries were so gorgeous, I loved them.

I went to these "Coffee Talks" almost every weekday morning, and those were fantastic. It's like a really casual panel, more like a conversation, a bunch of students and filmmakers/actors sitting around this lounge area with coffee and doughnuts having a conversation about whatever the topic of the day is. I also went to a Young Director's Forum, which was very intersting, and Bill Borden and Shawn Ku were there, and Shawn was adorable and really funny. And I went to this last-minute Screenwriters/Finding an Agent panel, and there were these two women there who were managers (as opposed to agents) and their little discussion was just so enlightening and great and I met them both afterward and gave them my card, which is always exciting. I tried to stay after the movies during the Q&As, which were pretty much all great, though of course there's always a person in the audience who asks a dumb question or embarrasses themself. Anyway, there were also several beautiful short films, which I won't name alll of, but I think North Atlantic was my favorite (also the writer/director is SO CUTE). That and Winter Frog (grenouille d'hiver). Of course I loved the two about death, but they were both beautiful, touching little stories. There were a couple good animated shorts and student shorts that I liked too.

SO, NOW, the film festival is over, and I get to sleep an extra hour tonight because of the stupid time change thing, and TOMORROW, I need to do the homework I haven't even had time to think about all week. Also tommorow will be a reading of my play on my school radio station. Which will (should) be fun! It was last year. But it also eats into my day because I'm going to be at the radio station for like 4 or 6 hours. D: But omg, once I get that done and my homework for Monday done, then I can CHILL a bit, because the rest of the quarter (JUST TWO WEEKS OMG) is much more relaxed. Haha, everyone was gearing up for the film fest and now we all gotta take a breath. I did have a chance to meet with my producer and OMG she walked into my apartment with the "how can I help you" attitude and when she walked out I felt like SUCH a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. She's great and I love her already.

Fandom-wise, I've been keeping track of things but haven't been able to participate much since I've been in movie theaters or lines ALL DAY EVERY DAY, but I am quite excited about this Adam + Queen thing going on tomorrow. There better be uploads ASAP, since I won't be home for it! Anyway, I've also missed writing a lot; sulwen and I were on a roll with our LBB (and... other things) and then I had to just abandon everything all week, so that kind of sucked. So next week we'll get back to writing and relaxing and omg I can't wait. It has been the MOST FUN. Also, Adam and Sauli are being the most precious about their anniversary right now on twitter and it's killing me with cute. I keep meaning to get back on lj more often but... well. I'm glad I can keep track of everyone via twitter, even if not many people on here are following me there.

OMG. So... I saw My Chemical Romance for the first time. It was my first rock show, and it was my first time seeing MCR, and it was my first time SKIPPING CLASS (lol, I'm such a good girl) and it was amazing. My pictures are kinda crap but that's okay, I know other people took better ones. I think I sent everything I took to twitter, so I'll just link to them there. PREPARE FOR LOTS AND LOTS OF RAMBLING. no, srsly, this is like 5,800 words of rambling (oh my god, self, r u srs?). I tried to kinda divide it into sections so it's not just a giant wall of text, lol. SO, HERE WE GO.


( the day before, preparing the day of, and the line )

( before the show, The Architects, Thursday, drunk lady )

( the show, random observations, THE BOYS ARE GORGEOUS, lots and lots of Frank, this is the section with tweets and pictures and the stuff you actually care about )

( merch/the pit )

( after the concert )

( the next day )


I'm still pretty sore, I have a blue bruise on my arm, and I'm still tired. My ears aren't fully back to normal yet. I lost 2.5 pounds (lol yay). I wrote a TON of notes to myself last night and I think I covered pretty much everything I meant to. I just rambled SO MUCH, this is ridiculous.

I'm SO GLAD MCR was my first rock show experience. It was an amazing, amazing show, with SO MANY of my absolute favorite songs, and I got really close to the barrier in front of my favorite person (somewhere close to this person because while I didn't get the water, I was right there next to where he threw it), and it was just... amazing. Awesome, in the true sense of the word. The crowd was, for the most part, really excellent to each other, and I pushed myself way past my comfort zone of not touching people and enjoyed the hell out of it, and being in the pit at a rock show was one of my ~life experiences I needed to do before, y'know, I die, and I did it at my VERY FIRST SHOW, with my VERY FAVORITE BAND. I just can't even. I'm so grateful for the whole experience. I WOULD do it again, but maybe not for MCR if I see them again soon, because the next time I see them (BECAUSE I WILL SEE THEM AGAIN, I MUST), I think I want to be in the balcony or something, where there's a little more breathing room and I can actually focus on the stage and not just surviving, you know? But now that I know I CAN survive the pit, it's definitely something I would do again. SO MUCH LOVE. Thank you guys so much for your concert tips, I really really appreciated it so much (lol I'm such a crazy person about being unprepared) and I'm sorry I didn't get to hang out with ppl more before or after (erraticonstilts, I wish we'd been able to meet! dancinbutterfly, we shall have to hang out sometime later!), but it was just really fantastic overall. Amazing experience.



PS:
THE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL MEME
my thread: here.

FIRST THINGS FIRST: the werewolfbigbang story I did art for has been posted! it is by the wonderful fleurdeliser and tuesdaysgone, and it's really great, and it's about the mob, isn't that awesome? :D the master post is here! go check it out!!


SECONDLY: mcr has released some tour dates. O_________O the closest shows to me are the tabernacle in atlanta (may 11) and house of blues in orlando (may 18), and i think i'm going to try for the atlanta show. it's in the middle of the week (both of them are), which SUCKS, because i'm pretty much going to have to miss one or two days of classes, but i haven't seen mcr live and i NEED TO, OKAY. plus if i go to atlanta, i can probably stay with family instead of getting a hotel. cue freaking out about presale times and shit. oh god oh god oh god. *CRAZYFACE* i really wish i was home while they're in the pacific NW, 'cause i could totally justify going to seattle, portland, and maybe even vancouver shows. :( much easier to swing than down here.


thirdly: i'm about to present my sound design final project today, and so now all i have left is: a final exam in directing tonight, a final exam in history on wednesday, a final exam in sound on wednesday, and presenting my directing final project on wednesday night. SO CLOSE TO BEING DONE. so damn close. then i drop off my car with family and catch a plane home on thursday night. :DDDD


other news: super excited for the sing video, adam and tommy look like porn when they're kissing, frank is super hot all the time, that's all for now, BACK TO FINALS.

HEY SO. REMINDER. OK Go's new video, which I worked on this summer, is premiering TOMORROW (MONDAY) on Ellen DeGeneres' show! Courtney Cox is the main guest. I think the band will actually be on the show -- Dan's facebook comments were kind of vague; they're in Europe right now but flying home in time for Ellen and Leno, and they're playing Leno, but... idk what they're doing with Ellen? I'm assuming they're actually on the show, since they're premiering the video, but the preview on Ellen's site doesn't say. I feel like a commercial, but check here for local listings (wow, that's a convenient page; all shows should have that).

WHAT ELSE IS UP. ummm. I'm still really sad about my internet situation. I hope to god my RA's actually working on it and not just placating us. I feel like I'm missing SO MUCH, even though I'm almost constantly checking twitter on my phone. I can't chat, I can't watch MCR's video (on YOUTUBE, anyway, but thank you so much to wherever I downloaded it to my phone from), I can't keep up with Glamnation shenanigans, I can't comment (or even CATCH UP ON) all your posts... IT IS QUITE SAD.

I've been flipping around tuning into this stream for a while. a couple of boys trying to break the world record for kissing and GLBT equality and all that. can you imagine kissing for 33 hours without sitting or taking a break? jeez. DEDICATION. they just broke the record now, but I think their goal is like an hour beyond that or something? idk. whatever. I like it. &boys!;

boring post is boring. I've mostly been reading textbooks and making trips to the computer lab to CATCH UP ON STUFF this weekend. don't forget to tune into Ellen tomorrow! I won't be able to (UGH, CLASS) but it'll be online shortly after, I'm sure. CATCH YOU GUYS L8R. <3

i shouldn't even be posting right now because i seriously need to leave very shortly and my suitcase is currently overweight by a few pounds. D: but i just wanted to touch on something, very briefly:

my facebook is very much completely separate from both my twitter and my livejournal, so i would really appreciate if things that happen here or on twitter never get over to my facebook. i think pretty much everyone on my flist is in the same camp, but i just wanted to put it out there. i haven't explored the options (or not-options) yet because i'm really busy right now but as soon as i can figure out a way, i'm going to make sure all the options on my end are set to private in any way they can be.


anyway. i'll probably be distant for the next week or so while i'm in atlanta (i don't know how much moving around i'm gonna be doing) but once i'm in savannah i'll be back for sure. keep me posted on anything interesting (like MCR COMING OUT OF HIDING) because i also don't know how much twittering i'll be able to do if i'm hanging out with family. (though i'm sure i'll hide in the bathroom and play with my phone a fair amount.)

LOVE YOU GUYS.

I've read some good stuff recently, but here's a few specific fics I want to mention. First, Knickpoint, which is Arthur/Eames for the prompt "barebaking for the first time". It's super hot, and I really like these characterizations, even though it is a little fluffier than my usual preferences (which is great for you guys, since nobody likes anything as depressing as I like it). Secondly, just because a man visits another man doesn't mean they're doing anything illegal (yet), which is also Arthur/Eames, and is very funny. Snappy dialogue and adorable imagery. And finally, a couple of Adam/TommyJoe fics: Scenic Route, because it has some of the long, drawn-out stuff I've been craving even though Tommy doesn't quite have a gay freakout, and The Boat That Would Row You Back, Carefully, because it's Dom/sub but not explicit, and it's really very very sweet. There's more recs at my delicious, of course, but those are a few that stood out.

I haven't been doing a whole lot except reading fic the past couple of days, because getting into two new fandoms at once is exhausting and there's so much to catch up on. Of course, with Inception, it seems like fics are just appearing out of nowhere at some kind of truly epic rate, and I can't even keep up with that alone (not all these fics are any good, though). With Adam and Tommy, it's more finding good fics that are maybe a little older.

But I have been doing something! Last night I really bit the bullet and started writing my werewolfbb fic, because lol I only had like two hundred words written in a notebook somewhere, and between last night and this afternoon, I've actually gotten a fair amount done! I'm just about up to 3k already, which is both good and bad because yay, closer to the minimum wordcount, but oh man, how long is this fic gonna be? I miiiight need to talk through my plot with someone soon, because I don't really have an ending planned out yet, so if anyone wants to talk about bandom werewolves? :D? Let me know. If I get a handle on this fic (and get a plot idea) maybe I can attempt the Inception bigbang. O.o

But besides that, I've just been sitting around reading fic and snuggling the little fluffmonster I have dubbed "lil dude". I think I mentioned that he's super shy, right? Well in the past couple of days, he's had a breakthrough and will now run around all over the house and explore things and LET PEOPLE TOUCH HIM! He is so soft and tiny. *______* He's still kind of a weirdo, but he lets me pick him up and pet him and snuggle him sometimes, which is quite awesome. \o/ HE IS SO FUCKING CUTE I CAN'T STAND IT. I wanna keep him. Except he's a boy and I don't really like boy dogs. :\

I am having conflicty conflicted thoughts about relationships and that nonsense, but that's nothing new, so I'll let it stew for a little while longer before rambling about it on here. I don't really want to filter this post, since it has fic recs.

OKAY, so I am at my grandparents' house, aka the place with no cell signal, but I got my laptop hooked up to their wireless and that is pretty sweet. \o/

SO I SIGNED UP FOR HC_BINGO!

( here is my card. )

so now I have a kink_bingo card (and I've started a couple of ficlets for that already), and a hc_bingo card, and monaboyd_month to write by the end of the month, and a bbb to edit and post by the end of the month. \o/ \o/ \o/ I got my art and mix and stuff for it, and that's pretty awesome. I haven't listened to my mix yet, but I shall do that tonight. I'm excited. \o/ (lots of \o/ emoticons today, hahaha.)

oh hey also, monaboyd_month stuff has been posting, and today is kiltsandlollies's day, and so far she's done a couple of picspams, and she does the best picspams, and if anyone wants to know why I ADORE Billy/Dom (friendship or slash), check this one out. *_______* OH MY BOYS. ♥_________♥ I have a type, can you tell? obnoxious boys who make epic hearteyes at slightly-less-obnoxious boys.

in other news, I had a great girl-talk with my aunt last night, which was awesome. she's super religious but she knows I'm not so she tries not to push anything on me, which is great. we went out to the mall today and there were SO MANY PRETTY DRESSES. I think I will need to go shopping once I get back to Seattle. (two days!)

I'm behind on Glee and Doctor Who, but I just downloaded both to watch tonight/tomorrow. yay! (yay computer + internet, yaaaaay, I can't live without you, Jeeves, never leave me.)

so HEY, guess WHAT.

LAST NIGHT i stayed up really late.

why?

to hit 20k.

so i did.

i'm going to write more this morning, and then go draw a naked guy, and then sit around fiddling with sliders on the mixing board at the theatre. last dress rehearsal! show opens tomorrow night!

sorry i've been so faily at commenting lately. :(

that icon meme everybody's doing. except it works better when you guys do it because YOU ALL HAVE MORE ICONS THAN ME ;____; but I will try to make do. I used more than one for a few questions because I didn't want any of my icons feeling left out. :P

( meme! )


recs!
- with the lights on has a bigbang sequel: down to the water. girl!Gee/Frank, sooooo amazing. lots of Frank not knowing how to help, and that's really all he wants, is to help. I just reread the first one, too, and nnngh that's good. super hot sex, and I love both of them as characters. I wish I could say this is the best porn I've read recently, because it is amazing, but the problem is that I've read some other really awesome porn and then I couldn't decide. I will just say that it's the best het porn I've read recently.
- some really awesome historical fluffy backstory to go with I Was Your Silver Lining. knowing what happens next in the timeline is kind of heartbreaking, but this little glimpse is so great, how they're just so young and in love and happy. that makes me smile. :)
- also I reread To Cast Turpentine Kisses last night, because bandom needs moar kinkfic and nnngh it is so good. hello, awesome D/s relationship PLUS teacher/student angst. kiiind of makes me want to pick up (and catch up) lotruniversity again. (why was kink so abundant in lotrips but so hard to find in bandom? not fair!)
- another two fics I reread because I wanted something kinky: As Mine See It, where FRANK WEARS A COLLAR IN PUBLIC, okay, I love this fic a lot, and also Burn, where Frank is a total size queen and it is really hot.
- bexless posted a fic today and that is always exciting. kind of a crossover with American Idol and MCR, even though that isn't much of a crossover and is just more like real life. but anyway, it's Adam Lambert/Frank/Gerard, and don't worry, the OTP is still very much intact, and it is basically just SUPER HOT because it is set during Projekt Revolution when Frank was for all intents and purposes in heat. Pinch Hitter. it's hot.

plus, okay, she has a really great primer picspam to explain the situation. and I don't know about you guys, but I loooove primer picspams (and I hope people will make more once we start getting new pictures), and I'm always tickled by the way Bex explains all these people to newcomers. plus, nnngh Frank and Gee need to get on stage asap. PLUS it keeps flashing through my mind, all the times they've said that ProRev was their favorite tour and they had the time of their lives (while groping and kissing each other--oh hey, did you know Gerard got MARRIED during all that as well?!) and how it kind of got back to being fun again, and sorry but I just need to flail for a moment because OMG I hope they remember that when they start touring again. because seriously, it was the best for us too.

also I know I've mentioned rereading unholyverse about a million times but I will rec that fic forever, to anyone, because it is one of my absolute favorites. and okay yes, not all of these fics are new, but they are all good and they're some of what I've been reading recently while waiting for the mcr bigbangs to be posted.

so yesterday I didn't work on my big bang but I wrote 2k of something else so I feel kind of accomplished! probably won't get much done today since I need to actually do homework for tomorrow, and today I also have PRACTICUM UGH UGH UGH right after drawing class. I really hope it will not be torture. (ugh practicummmmmm)

ALSO here are a couple pictures I uploaded for desfinado of Frank being a snuggle-whore, to go with the picspam theme of Frank being tiny and manhandled and subby, which is basically my favorite theme in the history of ever.

( frank is my favorite )