Fic: RunAway - XXXVIII. Belief

[silentdescant]

Series info, summary, warnings, and disclaimer

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Chapter Title: Belief

Chapter Summary: Billy tries to spread the word

When he woke up, he had a plan fully formed in his mind. It was as if his brain had kept working even after Billy had fallen asleep. He tucked the cordless home phone and his mobile into his pocket and hurried to the kitchen. After taking two pills and a bottle of water for the hangover, he set both phones on the counter, side by side.

 

Last night, Dom had called his mobile, and since Dom didn’t know that Billy had moved out of his house, he figured it was safe to assume that Dom wouldn’t call the home phone. Decision made, Billy dialed Orlando’s number.

 

“Hello, you’ve reached Orlando. I’m sorry I can’t take your call right now, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I get your message. Please leave your name and number and your message after the tone. Thank you!”

 

Billy chuckled at the formality of Orlando’s voicemail message. “God, you’ve got a shite message, Orli. Dom rang me last night, so ring me back when you get this. I’m going to tell Viggo and a few other people. Just, get back to me soon, yeah?” Billy laughed again. “Dom called me, Orli, can you believe it?”

 

Viggo’s number was next, but Billy got voicemail there too. “I’m not answering my phone. I’ll talk to you soon,” his message said airily.

 

“Viggo, call me back soon. Dom rang last night. Fuck, why isn’t anyone answering their phones? Ah, bugger, it’s probably midnight or something there isn’t it? Call me back soon, Vig.”

 

Billy was about to dial Elijah’s number when his mobile interrupted him. He jumped into action and caught it on the first ring.

 

“Hello? Dom?”

 

“Billy, what the hell is going on?” came the reply. It was only Sean. And he sounded angry, for some reason.

 

“Sean, ring back on my home phone.” Billy sighed and hung up. A second later, the other phone rang. “Hello again, Sean.”

 

“What’s going on? Billy, are you alright?” Sean asked in a moderately frantic tone.

 

“I’m fine. I’m fucking great! Dom rang me last night, Sean. He called me and we talked for a minute, but he—"

 

“Bill, stop! You’re just torturing yourself with this. You know that, right? Listen, Orlando called me a minute ago and said that you thought Dom called you and he was worried. He didn’t know what to say to you, so now I’m trying to think of something. Billy, Dom did not call you last night. Maybe it was a dream or… or hallucination?”

 

“It wasn’t a hallucination! I talked to him! He told me that he was sorry and—"

 

“Were you drunk?” Sean interrupted wearily.

 

“No! Well, a bit, but I’d already slept it off. Mostly.”

 

“Oh, Billy…”

 

“I know his voice, Sean. It was him. He sounded exactly like he used to.”

 

“How much is exactly, Bill?”

 

“Dom said ‘I’m sorry,’ and it sounded exactly like when he said it to me the last time he talked to me,” Billy explained.

 

Sean was quiet for a long moment before answering. “Billy… I think… I don’t think that was real. I think you wanted it to be real, and you wanted Dom to be alive, so your mind supplied the right information. I think your brain was just replaying what you remember of him.”

 

“If it was a bloody hallucination, I’d like to think I would have hallucinated much happier circumstances, Sean. I would have hallucinated Dom walking in the front door, pleased to see me and healthy, not a tragic voice on a telephone,” Billy replied angrily.

 

“No, Bill, listen. If the last conversations you had with Dom were… ‘tragic,’ as you say, then that’s what you would hallucinate. You’re confusing dreams and wishes with the fucked up workings of your own depressed mind.”

 

“It was real, Sean. He was real.”

 

Sean sighed. “Billy, I can’t go through this with Elijah, okay? Please, Bill, please don’t tell him about this. Do not give him a false hope based on nothing more than one iffy phone call while you were drunk.”

 

“The call was real, I swear to you. Dominic is alive, and Elijah should know about it! Everyone should bloody know about it! We have to find him!”

 

Billy’s last words seemed to be a trigger for Sean, and he wasted no time in exploding.

 

“Dominic is dead, Billy. He fucking killed himself in New Zealand because he couldn’t handle his life. He’s dead and all of the evidence points to that fact. And it is a fact, Billy. He’s dead and there’s nothing you can do about it! You need to accept that fact so you can move on and stop torturing yourself with memories and wishes. I will not let you ruin Elijah’s recovery by sucking him into your fucking fantasies about what could have been. I’m trying to hold everything together here, Bill, and I really don’t appreciate it when you fight the truth like this. I am this fucking close to a nervous breakdown, and I really can’t handle that right now. So you know what you should do? You should get out of your stuffy, cramped house and do something. Go out to a restaurant and see a movie. Go visit Margaret. Go do something besides sit around and wallow in your misery, because that is not healthy, Bill.” Sean paused for a deep breath before continuing in a calmer voice. “I’m already at the end of my rope keeping Elijah sane. Orlando’s been helping me, but we can’t spare enough energy to stop you from going on your trip from memory lane to crazy-town. Please, Billy, let this go. Let him go.”

 

Billy stood in stunned silence until Sean finished. He’d never known his friend to blow up like that. He drew in a shaky breath.

 

“I’m sorry, Sean. I won’t tell Elijah. But I can’t let Dom go. Not without one hell of a fight.”

 

“Do what you have to then, Billy, but when you’ve worn yourself down searching for the Holy Grail, you’d better expect an ‘I told you so.’”

Next: Rescue