with words I thought I'd never speak

title: Old Enough
pairing: Jeff/Jensen
rating: NC-17
words: 3179
warning: prostitution, underage sex, underage drinking, mild dub-con
summary: "How old are you, sweetheart?”

“Seventeen."

“More than old enough for me.”
disclaimer: Very untrue. Don't google yourself. Don't pass this along to anyone involved.
a/n: For the "prostitution/sex work" square on my kink bingo card.

Old Enough on ao3

I haven't signed up yet because I want to figure out an idea to write before I commit, but I wanted to put this here, because I always want more John or Jeff fic.



Author Sign Ups | Artist Sign Ups
Come and join us at the john-w-bigbang

title: Full Circle
authors: sulwen and silentdescant
pairing: Jeff/Jensen, past Jensen/Danneel
rating: NC-17
words: 8065
warning: break-up
summary: Danneel and Jensen break up; Jensen goes to Jeff for comfort.
disclaimer: Very untrue. Don't google yourself. Don't pass this along to anyone involved.
a/n: this started out as off the cuff h/c fic and turned into 8k of porn. oops? I don't think we've ever written something together that HASN'T turned into porn, tbh.

Full Circle on ao3

Yesterday was my birthday! It was pretty great, just sat around reading fic for most of the day. I still have no job. BUT my film, which was indeed finished, was accepted into a film festival in Sacramento! I am SO EXCITED. \o/!!!! Heading down there mid-August for that, hopefully I can do a lot of networking and talking to people. Still need a job. D:

I have totally failed at keeping up with LJ, I'm sorry. /o\ I really do need to get better about it, I miss LJ. Twitter is still my home, at the moment. In my absence from LJ, I forgot to mention here that I have posted fic! You probably already saw it if you're on twitter or subscribe to me on AO3.

The first, written with sulwen, is the first part of the mpreg omega fic we've been talking about for aaaaages. Adam as the pack's Alpha, Tommy as the only fertile Omega. Kinks include knotting, obviously, and dubcon that goes with the trope, as well as mpreg, underage sex, and some incest (more of that to come in future parts). Born This Way

The second is some very off the cuff Jared/Jensen porn with some of my usual kinks: D/s, comeplay, breathplay... But it's basically fluff. First time really trying out writing J2, which I hope to do lots more. Oh, Baby, Baby

And finally, I wanted to say that sulwen and I have found our next big passion project. We're getting a very early start on next year's spn_j2_bigbang... which is still posting right now for this year, sign ups won't even open for a while yet. But we're REALLY EXCITED. We've been messing around with a lot of ideas, even some original fic, outlining and dabbling and brainstorming, but nothing has felt URGENT in the way this idea does. It's really really great to have that need to tell a story again. And it's probably a good thing we're starting early because lol we can already tell this is gonna be looooong. :D We definitely feel better this way than doing what we did with LBB, jumping into it at the last minute with a 160k fic and not getting it beta'd until like, the day before posting... hahaha hopefully with starting this far in advance, things will fall into place a little easier.

ps: my Jack is the cutest puppy in the entire world, I swear.

EULOGY

I've posted on twitter about this a lot, but I realized I haven't actually linked the campaign here. I started my indiegogo fundraising campaign for my film, and so far I've raised alllllllmost half of my goal, which is allllllmost what I need to shoot my film! I'd really like to have around $2500 before I shoot, which is in a week and a half. I'm almost there! Any support you can give, even if it's just spreading the word, would be amazing and so helpful.

I explain a little more about the costs and stuff in this post, or on the indiegogo website, and in that LJ post, I'm offering my fic-writing services instead of the perks listed on indiegogo, if you would prefer to donate that way.

It's getting down to the wire! I'm so excited--stressed out of my mind, but so excited. My actors have been cast, locations chosen, and equipment rented... The biggest thing I need now is set dressing (mostly funeral flower arrangements for a church). But I'm sure it will all come together soon! :)


I wish that silly embedded widget would show up... :(

Title: When Love Fails
Author: silentdescant & sulwen
Artist: rude_bunny
Betas: isweedan & pussy_in_person
Type: Drama
Word Count: 160,000
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Adam/Tommy, Adam/multiple OMCs, Tommy/OFC, Tommy/multiple OMCs, past Adam/Brad
Warnings: Angst, Suicidal Ideation, Drug and Alcohol Addiction, Infidelity, Dubious Consent, Drug Overdose, Severe Main Character Injury, Depression, Eating Disorder, Unsafe Sex, Violence, Multiple Partners, Explicit Heterosexual Sex, Homophobia, Vomiting, Jealousy, Physical and Verbal Fighting, Hospitalization, Body Dysmorphia, Coming Out Publicly, BDSM (D/s specifically), Breathplay, Humiliation, Orgasm Control, Belting, Bloodplay, Knifeplay, Bondage, Pain Kink, Semi-Public Sex, Rough/Angry Sex, Unhealthy/Unsafe Expressions of All Above Kinks.

Summary: What starts as rebound sex quickly turns into a downward spiral of co-dependent addiction. Adam and Tommy both bring heavy baggage to their relationship: Adam is being pushed harder and harder every day by an unsympathetic manager and is starting to long for the no-consequences life of anonymity he’s left behind, while Tommy carries the weight of a string of infidelities and personal insecurities. Their relationship takes them to a darker place than either of them could have imagined.



Link to fic master post: on archiveofourown
Link to art master post: here
Link to mix master post: here

It is that time, that time when I ask for money.

As many of you probably know, I am a senior in film school right now. My senior project is to create a short film, of which I am the writer and director, and the goal is to submit this film to film festivals in as many places as I afford. A short film is a "calling card" for lots of filmmakers, and the stuff on my reel could land me a job. So I'm asking for your support now, because making movies costs money.

My film! ( technical and content details! )

My vague, proposed budget is around $2,500. That should cover pretty much everything, and give us good quality things when we need them (like the hotel).

Some of this money will also go to what my professor likes to call extending the "life of the film". After my senior showcase in the spring when I graduate, where my film along with all of the other films from my year will be shown in our movie theater on the big screen, student films basically die. I don't want my film to die, and I think it has a very good chance at success if I submit it to as many film festivals as I can manage. Film festival submissions cost money, but there are sometimes awards, grants, prizes, and invaluable opportunities to get my work seen by a ton of people. Film festivals are where new filmmakers get noticed, and I want to get noticed. I believe my film can get me noticed, too. So this is the biggest need for your help. There's no proposed budget for this part. The more submission money I have, the more film festivals I can submit my film to, so any little bit helps.

I will be putting together a pitch video and an official fundraising project on indiegogo which is basically like kickstarter. That's not set up yet, but it will be, and you could donate there or here. The difference will be the incentives. There, I will be offering incentives like your name in the credits of the film, set photography from the shoot, printed and signed "programs" used in a funeral scene in the film, DVDs, posters, and artwork from my storyboard artist.

Here, I am offering... well, you can have your name in the credits too, and a handwritten note of thanks in the programs from set, but my main incentive for this little donate button is fanfic. I will take prompts for the fandoms I write in, and even fandoms I'm familiar with but haven't written in before, basically whatever you want. I will write stories for you, in exchange for your support for my senior film. I've never participated in those charity auctions or fic exchanges like this before, so I don't know how other people do it, but if you donate some money we can email about prompts and whatever you want me to do for you in exchange. My email address is silentdescant@gmail.com. There's no deadline for donations, and you don't even have to give me a prompt if you don't want to (though I really do enjoy writing for people, and I would love to give you something in return for donating), and you can donate here or via indiegogo (once I get that set up in the next week or so). And there's no pressure or anything. This is just a request, if you have the cash to spare, to consider my project, and if you don't, then please pimp out this post or the indiegogo link when it's available! :)

Thank you, thank you, thank you, and I will update you on progress and all that soon!

sulwen wanted to do one for adam fandom! so she made some questions! and i like when she asks me questions and i get to ramble! and i had like a few margaritas tonight and rambled for 20 mintues about adam and tommy (and brad)! ~enjoy!

1. What's your username and is there a story behind it?
2. Where are you from and where do you live now?
3. Besides Adam, who are some of your favorite musical artists?
4. Have you been in any other fandoms besides Adam? Which ones?
5. How long have you been an Adam fan, and how did you first hear about him?
6. Have you seen Adam in concert? Any particular favorite concert experience?
7. What's your favorite song off of For Your Entertainment and why?
8. What are you favorite genres of fanfic? (angst, fluff, porn, crack, AU, etc...)
9. Do you have an OTP? What is it, and why do you love it?
10. Are you a fan of any of Adam's many talented friends and colleagues ? If so, who?
11. What story do you wish someone would write?
12. What fanfic would you recommend to everyone? Tell us about your favorite stories!
13. Tell us about what you're hoping to see during the Trespassing album cycle.
14. And of course, the eternal debate: how do you like Adam's hair best? Up? Down? Shaved sides? Tinted tips? FACIAL HAIR? Feel free to link a picture in your post!

Glam Voice Meme by silentdescant

(eta: the fic i couldn't remember the title of is "call the darkness light" by my_silent_hour)

Today was the last day of the film festival. I've been BOOKED UP this entire past week, seeing movies or going to panels from 8am to 10pm or even midnight on a couple nights. Barely had time to eat, no time for homework, didn't get much sleep, and I definitely caught a cold. But it was amazing. I've seen a lot of REALLY great stuff. Carnage, with Kate Winslet and Jodie Foster, was amazing, and it played out in real time in one location, I ADORED it. Jeff, Who Lives at Home, which was my last movie of the festival, was excellent and funny and all of the scenes were improvised, which I find fascinating. Also the co-writer/co-director who came to accept the award on behalf of him and his brother, Jay Duplass, was SUPER ADORABLE. The Artist, which was opening night, was gorgeous and really intersting. A silent black & white movie. Butter, with Jennifer Garner and Olivia Wilde, was a surprise hit, and was HILARIOUS. We Need to Talk About Kevin was fucking disturbing but... good? Crazy as hell, but Ezra Miller was great, and he was also in Another Happy Day, which I ADORED. Ellen Barkin and the writer/director Sam Levinson were here with that. Bringing Up Bobby was Famke Janssen's writing/directing debut, and I really enjoyed that a lot, and also she is gorgeous in real life. Ray Liotta was here with The Son of No One, which I thought was really great; it reminded me of The Departed, kind of? Coriolanus was really interesting... Wasn't expecting it to be THAT Shakespearian, but it was, and I thought it really worked. And A Dangerous Method, that was pretty great, and kinky, and kind of funny as well. Loved Kiera Knightly in it. Aaron Eckhart and James Marsden were both here also but I didn't get to see them (though I did see James both in a theater and outside the hotel. LOVE.). The Muppets movie had it's world premiere last night, but I opted not to wait in line to try and get a rush ticket for that, and I also didn't have a ticket for tonight's closing night movie, Like Crazy, but I'm cool with that. I ended on a really great note this afternoon (with Jeff and the Jay Duplass Q&A).

Old movies: I also saw Barry Lyndon, which was... LONG AS FUCK and I thought it was kind of boring, but Alec Baldwin and James Toback came out to talk about it so that was neat, and Born of the Fourth of July, which I hadn't seen either, but that one was really great. Oliver Stone came to talk about that, and to accept an award. Lily Tomlin was also here with The Late Show, and to be honest I remember her more than the movie! She was great, though.

Indie movies: Let Go was really quirky and interesting and definitely cute. And Take Me Home, about a woman who gets in a taxi and they travel from NY to California, that was pretty sweet and cute. There was also A Year in Mooring, with Josh Lucas and James Cromwell (who I saw many times) which was so atmospheric and gorgeous, I really enjoyed it because it didn't go through the traditional Hollywood structure. Inuk was really great too, set in Greenland, and there were no professional actors, it was crazy. All the kids were actually from the children's home up there, and the hunters were actually hunters. It was so great. The guy was a documentary filmmaker with them for a long time before asking them to be in this narrative.

The documentaries that I saw were stunning. To be honest, I think I liked them more than the narrative films. It's much harder to choose a favorite, in any case. PressPausePlay was AMAZING, and it's actually available for download on their site and you should check this shit out. It's right up your alley, and it made me so emotional about art and music and creativity. These Amazing Shadows was about the National Film Registry and it was really great too, and it's going to be on PBS on Dec 29th at 10, you should check that out too. The Bully Project was kind of mindblowing. It was about school bullies, and kids who committed suicide, and it followed a kid around at school and FILMED THE BULLYING and fuck, guys, I was crying my way through that one. The City Dark was about stars and the night sky, and light pollution in cities and even its effect on the human body. It was FASCINATING and also really stunning, but I have a thing for stars and astronomy. They made connections between breast cancer and constant light! I ate that shit up. Oh, and GROW! was about young farmers--young people getting passionate about organic farming. I liked it more than I thought I would, and the filmmakers were around all week, they were pretty great. All of the documentaries were so gorgeous, I loved them.

I went to these "Coffee Talks" almost every weekday morning, and those were fantastic. It's like a really casual panel, more like a conversation, a bunch of students and filmmakers/actors sitting around this lounge area with coffee and doughnuts having a conversation about whatever the topic of the day is. I also went to a Young Director's Forum, which was very intersting, and Bill Borden and Shawn Ku were there, and Shawn was adorable and really funny. And I went to this last-minute Screenwriters/Finding an Agent panel, and there were these two women there who were managers (as opposed to agents) and their little discussion was just so enlightening and great and I met them both afterward and gave them my card, which is always exciting. I tried to stay after the movies during the Q&As, which were pretty much all great, though of course there's always a person in the audience who asks a dumb question or embarrasses themself. Anyway, there were also several beautiful short films, which I won't name alll of, but I think North Atlantic was my favorite (also the writer/director is SO CUTE). That and Winter Frog (grenouille d'hiver). Of course I loved the two about death, but they were both beautiful, touching little stories. There were a couple good animated shorts and student shorts that I liked too.

SO, NOW, the film festival is over, and I get to sleep an extra hour tonight because of the stupid time change thing, and TOMORROW, I need to do the homework I haven't even had time to think about all week. Also tommorow will be a reading of my play on my school radio station. Which will (should) be fun! It was last year. But it also eats into my day because I'm going to be at the radio station for like 4 or 6 hours. D: But omg, once I get that done and my homework for Monday done, then I can CHILL a bit, because the rest of the quarter (JUST TWO WEEKS OMG) is much more relaxed. Haha, everyone was gearing up for the film fest and now we all gotta take a breath. I did have a chance to meet with my producer and OMG she walked into my apartment with the "how can I help you" attitude and when she walked out I felt like SUCH a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. She's great and I love her already.

Fandom-wise, I've been keeping track of things but haven't been able to participate much since I've been in movie theaters or lines ALL DAY EVERY DAY, but I am quite excited about this Adam + Queen thing going on tomorrow. There better be uploads ASAP, since I won't be home for it! Anyway, I've also missed writing a lot; sulwen and I were on a roll with our LBB (and... other things) and then I had to just abandon everything all week, so that kind of sucked. So next week we'll get back to writing and relaxing and omg I can't wait. It has been the MOST FUN. Also, Adam and Sauli are being the most precious about their anniversary right now on twitter and it's killing me with cute. I keep meaning to get back on lj more often but... well. I'm glad I can keep track of everyone via twitter, even if not many people on here are following me there.

title: Sex and Violence
pairing: Frank/Gerard
rating: NC-17
words: 2500
warning: rough sex, blood kink, violence
summary: Frank needs to work out a little anger.
disclaimer: Very untrue. Don't google yourself. Don't pass this along to anyone involved.
a/n: This is for the lovely and talented blue_soaring, who knew exactly which fic ideas would entice me. Happy belated birthday! ♥ ♥ ♥

on ao3


( Sex and Violence )