with words I thought I'd never speak

It is that time, that time when I ask for money.

As many of you probably know, I am a senior in film school right now. My senior project is to create a short film, of which I am the writer and director, and the goal is to submit this film to film festivals in as many places as I afford. A short film is a "calling card" for lots of filmmakers, and the stuff on my reel could land me a job. So I'm asking for your support now, because making movies costs money.

My film! ( technical and content details! )

My vague, proposed budget is around $2,500. That should cover pretty much everything, and give us good quality things when we need them (like the hotel).

Some of this money will also go to what my professor likes to call extending the "life of the film". After my senior showcase in the spring when I graduate, where my film along with all of the other films from my year will be shown in our movie theater on the big screen, student films basically die. I don't want my film to die, and I think it has a very good chance at success if I submit it to as many film festivals as I can manage. Film festival submissions cost money, but there are sometimes awards, grants, prizes, and invaluable opportunities to get my work seen by a ton of people. Film festivals are where new filmmakers get noticed, and I want to get noticed. I believe my film can get me noticed, too. So this is the biggest need for your help. There's no proposed budget for this part. The more submission money I have, the more film festivals I can submit my film to, so any little bit helps.

I will be putting together a pitch video and an official fundraising project on indiegogo which is basically like kickstarter. That's not set up yet, but it will be, and you could donate there or here. The difference will be the incentives. There, I will be offering incentives like your name in the credits of the film, set photography from the shoot, printed and signed "programs" used in a funeral scene in the film, DVDs, posters, and artwork from my storyboard artist.

Here, I am offering... well, you can have your name in the credits too, and a handwritten note of thanks in the programs from set, but my main incentive for this little donate button is fanfic. I will take prompts for the fandoms I write in, and even fandoms I'm familiar with but haven't written in before, basically whatever you want. I will write stories for you, in exchange for your support for my senior film. I've never participated in those charity auctions or fic exchanges like this before, so I don't know how other people do it, but if you donate some money we can email about prompts and whatever you want me to do for you in exchange. My email address is silentdescant@gmail.com. There's no deadline for donations, and you don't even have to give me a prompt if you don't want to (though I really do enjoy writing for people, and I would love to give you something in return for donating), and you can donate here or via indiegogo (once I get that set up in the next week or so). And there's no pressure or anything. This is just a request, if you have the cash to spare, to consider my project, and if you don't, then please pimp out this post or the indiegogo link when it's available! :)

Thank you, thank you, thank you, and I will update you on progress and all that soon!

Today was the last day of the film festival. I've been BOOKED UP this entire past week, seeing movies or going to panels from 8am to 10pm or even midnight on a couple nights. Barely had time to eat, no time for homework, didn't get much sleep, and I definitely caught a cold. But it was amazing. I've seen a lot of REALLY great stuff. Carnage, with Kate Winslet and Jodie Foster, was amazing, and it played out in real time in one location, I ADORED it. Jeff, Who Lives at Home, which was my last movie of the festival, was excellent and funny and all of the scenes were improvised, which I find fascinating. Also the co-writer/co-director who came to accept the award on behalf of him and his brother, Jay Duplass, was SUPER ADORABLE. The Artist, which was opening night, was gorgeous and really intersting. A silent black & white movie. Butter, with Jennifer Garner and Olivia Wilde, was a surprise hit, and was HILARIOUS. We Need to Talk About Kevin was fucking disturbing but... good? Crazy as hell, but Ezra Miller was great, and he was also in Another Happy Day, which I ADORED. Ellen Barkin and the writer/director Sam Levinson were here with that. Bringing Up Bobby was Famke Janssen's writing/directing debut, and I really enjoyed that a lot, and also she is gorgeous in real life. Ray Liotta was here with The Son of No One, which I thought was really great; it reminded me of The Departed, kind of? Coriolanus was really interesting... Wasn't expecting it to be THAT Shakespearian, but it was, and I thought it really worked. And A Dangerous Method, that was pretty great, and kinky, and kind of funny as well. Loved Kiera Knightly in it. Aaron Eckhart and James Marsden were both here also but I didn't get to see them (though I did see James both in a theater and outside the hotel. LOVE.). The Muppets movie had it's world premiere last night, but I opted not to wait in line to try and get a rush ticket for that, and I also didn't have a ticket for tonight's closing night movie, Like Crazy, but I'm cool with that. I ended on a really great note this afternoon (with Jeff and the Jay Duplass Q&A).

Old movies: I also saw Barry Lyndon, which was... LONG AS FUCK and I thought it was kind of boring, but Alec Baldwin and James Toback came out to talk about it so that was neat, and Born of the Fourth of July, which I hadn't seen either, but that one was really great. Oliver Stone came to talk about that, and to accept an award. Lily Tomlin was also here with The Late Show, and to be honest I remember her more than the movie! She was great, though.

Indie movies: Let Go was really quirky and interesting and definitely cute. And Take Me Home, about a woman who gets in a taxi and they travel from NY to California, that was pretty sweet and cute. There was also A Year in Mooring, with Josh Lucas and James Cromwell (who I saw many times) which was so atmospheric and gorgeous, I really enjoyed it because it didn't go through the traditional Hollywood structure. Inuk was really great too, set in Greenland, and there were no professional actors, it was crazy. All the kids were actually from the children's home up there, and the hunters were actually hunters. It was so great. The guy was a documentary filmmaker with them for a long time before asking them to be in this narrative.

The documentaries that I saw were stunning. To be honest, I think I liked them more than the narrative films. It's much harder to choose a favorite, in any case. PressPausePlay was AMAZING, and it's actually available for download on their site and you should check this shit out. It's right up your alley, and it made me so emotional about art and music and creativity. These Amazing Shadows was about the National Film Registry and it was really great too, and it's going to be on PBS on Dec 29th at 10, you should check that out too. The Bully Project was kind of mindblowing. It was about school bullies, and kids who committed suicide, and it followed a kid around at school and FILMED THE BULLYING and fuck, guys, I was crying my way through that one. The City Dark was about stars and the night sky, and light pollution in cities and even its effect on the human body. It was FASCINATING and also really stunning, but I have a thing for stars and astronomy. They made connections between breast cancer and constant light! I ate that shit up. Oh, and GROW! was about young farmers--young people getting passionate about organic farming. I liked it more than I thought I would, and the filmmakers were around all week, they were pretty great. All of the documentaries were so gorgeous, I loved them.

I went to these "Coffee Talks" almost every weekday morning, and those were fantastic. It's like a really casual panel, more like a conversation, a bunch of students and filmmakers/actors sitting around this lounge area with coffee and doughnuts having a conversation about whatever the topic of the day is. I also went to a Young Director's Forum, which was very intersting, and Bill Borden and Shawn Ku were there, and Shawn was adorable and really funny. And I went to this last-minute Screenwriters/Finding an Agent panel, and there were these two women there who were managers (as opposed to agents) and their little discussion was just so enlightening and great and I met them both afterward and gave them my card, which is always exciting. I tried to stay after the movies during the Q&As, which were pretty much all great, though of course there's always a person in the audience who asks a dumb question or embarrasses themself. Anyway, there were also several beautiful short films, which I won't name alll of, but I think North Atlantic was my favorite (also the writer/director is SO CUTE). That and Winter Frog (grenouille d'hiver). Of course I loved the two about death, but they were both beautiful, touching little stories. There were a couple good animated shorts and student shorts that I liked too.

SO, NOW, the film festival is over, and I get to sleep an extra hour tonight because of the stupid time change thing, and TOMORROW, I need to do the homework I haven't even had time to think about all week. Also tommorow will be a reading of my play on my school radio station. Which will (should) be fun! It was last year. But it also eats into my day because I'm going to be at the radio station for like 4 or 6 hours. D: But omg, once I get that done and my homework for Monday done, then I can CHILL a bit, because the rest of the quarter (JUST TWO WEEKS OMG) is much more relaxed. Haha, everyone was gearing up for the film fest and now we all gotta take a breath. I did have a chance to meet with my producer and OMG she walked into my apartment with the "how can I help you" attitude and when she walked out I felt like SUCH a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. She's great and I love her already.

Fandom-wise, I've been keeping track of things but haven't been able to participate much since I've been in movie theaters or lines ALL DAY EVERY DAY, but I am quite excited about this Adam + Queen thing going on tomorrow. There better be uploads ASAP, since I won't be home for it! Anyway, I've also missed writing a lot; sulwen and I were on a roll with our LBB (and... other things) and then I had to just abandon everything all week, so that kind of sucked. So next week we'll get back to writing and relaxing and omg I can't wait. It has been the MOST FUN. Also, Adam and Sauli are being the most precious about their anniversary right now on twitter and it's killing me with cute. I keep meaning to get back on lj more often but... well. I'm glad I can keep track of everyone via twitter, even if not many people on here are following me there.

I've seen this meme a couple of times on my flist. Looked like fun. Here we go. :)

Six pairings I like:
1) Frank/Gerard
2) Adam/Tommy
3) Adam/Brad
4) Adam/Tommy/Brad
5) Frank/Jamia
6) Frank/Lindsey

Three pairings I've abandoned:
7) Ron/Hermione
8) Fred/George
9) Billy/Dom

Three pairings I have never really liked:
10) Frank/Mikey
11) Harry/Draco
12) Mikey/Ray

Two pairings that have piqued my interest:
13) Tommy/Isaac
14) Adam/dominant!OMC


( questions! )


IN OTHER NEWS: I am almost almost almost done with this quarter. Spring break starts Tuesday night for me, with a flight home. \o/ I'm excited. I just gotta get through a final exam today, then that's basically it! Besides just going to the last couple classes. Also, a play I wrote is going to be performed on my school's radio station on Sunday night. I'll have more details about that soon, if you'd like to tune in. :)

FIRST THINGS FIRST: the werewolfbigbang story I did art for has been posted! it is by the wonderful fleurdeliser and tuesdaysgone, and it's really great, and it's about the mob, isn't that awesome? :D the master post is here! go check it out!!


SECONDLY: mcr has released some tour dates. O_________O the closest shows to me are the tabernacle in atlanta (may 11) and house of blues in orlando (may 18), and i think i'm going to try for the atlanta show. it's in the middle of the week (both of them are), which SUCKS, because i'm pretty much going to have to miss one or two days of classes, but i haven't seen mcr live and i NEED TO, OKAY. plus if i go to atlanta, i can probably stay with family instead of getting a hotel. cue freaking out about presale times and shit. oh god oh god oh god. *CRAZYFACE* i really wish i was home while they're in the pacific NW, 'cause i could totally justify going to seattle, portland, and maybe even vancouver shows. :( much easier to swing than down here.


thirdly: i'm about to present my sound design final project today, and so now all i have left is: a final exam in directing tonight, a final exam in history on wednesday, a final exam in sound on wednesday, and presenting my directing final project on wednesday night. SO CLOSE TO BEING DONE. so damn close. then i drop off my car with family and catch a plane home on thursday night. :DDDD


other news: super excited for the sing video, adam and tommy look like porn when they're kissing, frank is super hot all the time, that's all for now, BACK TO FINALS.

drawing! today was supposed to be our final grade day for this first pose, but we did the critique and then he gave us another week to fix it up even more. \o/? I really don't have a lot to do with mine. darken a few things, straighten my horizon line, that's about it. I was actually impressed with the progress a lot of other people made; there were some pretty impressive drawings up on the wall. of course, there were also a bunch of crappy ones. :\ anyway, then we started our next drawing, which is our relining/foreshortened pose, and we have a male model this time. I'm not sure whether to be disappointed or glad that from my angle I can't even see his dick. :P here's my sketch of the pose, which I think is a really great pose, and one that I imagine a lot.

had to rush back and drop off my shit to get to practicum on time. I got there like 5 minutes late (not that it matters to them), and helped carry a ladder into the theatre, and then Jeremy came in and told us all we weren't needed and could go home and still count our three hours. so I worked for about 2 minutes and got dismissed with full credit. FUCK YEAH. damn practicum. hahahahahaha fucking practicum.

I finally finished reading dancinbutterfly's bbb fic, You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison. there's a lot of pairings I don't normally read--hell, a lot of characters I don't normally read--but it's a really engaging, angsty story, and Frank's in the mafia so you know I couldn't resist that. I got totally into all of the storylines even though I usually don't get invested in characters other than MCR, so you should check it out because it's really good.

I need to read a play and a chapter of my textbook tonight (fuck, it's already almost 1am), and I haven't worked on my bbb in forever so I need to get in gear there, BUT. I want to do this meme. it's the DVD Commentary Meme! Ask me stuff, I can talk about writing for... a long time.

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

I just now updated my index, so all my fics are here.

film festival still has a few days left, and i am EXHAUSTED. i've been seeing movies practically every moment i'm not in class or sleeping or walking to and from the theater. so tired. i've seen some good ones so far, though: The Young Victoria, Adam, Dare, Dear Lemon Lima. hopefully I'll get some of my thoughts out after the festival's over, 'cause I would like to talk about them. I'm off to another one in about twenty minutes. I'm so fucking tired.

nano: last night my computer restarted for one of those automatic update things and I lost half of my fic, literally. I went from 4600 to 2300, which sucks so bad. what I'm rewriting isn't as good, so far, and it feels shorter, which is sad. but honestly, I don't have time to think about it right now. I talked over my screenplay with my teacher and now I'm more excited about finishing that now, and that's my priority for writing at the moment. I know I can make up lost time in nano once I'm not out and about all fucking day. I know maryangel200 and wonder_walldbc are doing well with their wordcounts, though, so congratulations. ♥

I know I owe several of you emails; I'm really sorry about not getting back to you. I WILL, I promise, but I'm not even going to think about it until after this weekend. Also, I'm leaving this post unlocked for a meme; do this for me, please? I've always wanted to do real commentary for my fic.


Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

Because I know you guys are sooo interested... And I'm posting it before it's been graded because I don't care what my teacher says about it, I'm pretty proud of it. It's pretty short, as far as research papers go (slightly over 2000 words), but it's kind of dense, so. :\




( the paper )


( works cited and bibliography [this is CRAZY LONG] )


So that's a research paper in, like, what, three days? /o\ I had to pretty much start over from scratch after the draft I sent in. Now I only have one more discussion to post and I am DONE with this class. And pretty much done with art history! \o/

1. GO READ THE THIRD INSTALLMENT OF UNHOLYVERSE. and if you haven't read Unholyverse, GO DO THAT. It is by bexless and it is amazing and owns my soul. Even if you're not into bandom at all, you should read this fic. It is seriously that amazing. It's like C-verse for lotrips, only with less kinky sex. hahaha

2. I don't think I posted about this (though I twittered/facebooked/flailed at people in gchat), but I FINALLLLLLLY finished writing my BBB fic. Yeah, I know it's almost the end of the month, shut up. IT WILL GET EDITED, I SWEAR. Just.... very very quickly. :\ BUT IT'S DONE, and that's the point, and it's something like 57k and it's EPIC, OKAY, and I am still in love with it and cannot WAIT for you guys to read it.

3. I reinstalled my drivers and managed to fix my audio and DVD-player computer issues. THEREFORE: LOTMS TONIGHT. It was great, and the video wasn't even jumpy and stuttery. I LOVE THIS BAND.

( 4. I fucked up my journal layout, sorry; 5. school is so close to being done I can taste it. )

6. I still have 2 Dreamwidth invite codes. Comment or send me a message with your email address if you want one.

A very general sort of update, since I haven't posted in FOREVER.

( In which I ramble on about drawing things. and Gerard. )

( and then about writing things, and classes! )

( bandom bandom bandom )

( photographic evidence of Frank and Gerard being RIDICULOUSLY PRETTY )

HAVE A NICE DAY. <3333!

I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL

until summer quarter starts, but that's irrelevant, and online besides. I AM DONE WITH GOING TO SCHOOL.