with words I thought I'd never speak

Well, it is a new year. It is the year of graduation and jobs and a new place to live. It is also the year of new music and tour from Adam, which I am REALLY excited about. I don't expect new music from MCR, but I'm still holding out hope for videos and comics and whatever else those boys come up with (I can't imagine they'll hibernate for long). I want to do things like eat healthier and lose weight (I did both this past year, but it's hard to stick to, and I want to get better at the sticking to it part). I also want to be more social (I definitely started that this past year, but I can do better), and meet some online friends, now that I know some people in kind-of-my area. I want to write more, although that sounds silly when you read onto this next bit of the post. I want to write some original fic, though, and that's always hard to stick to, for me.

But check this out. I was going to do that end of the year fic meme that I saw a couple people fill out, but it wasn't working for me, so I just tallied things up instead. I wrote and posted 46 fics, two of which were co-written with sulwen (and one of those was for the sick!Frank challenge at yobrothatssick). One was a 41k fic for lambliffbigbang and one was a 25k fic for bandombigbang. 15 fics were for the summer fill fest at glam_kink (and they're having a new year fill fest now, you should check that out). But this is the really shocking (to me) part: my wordcount totals.

solo posted fic: 122,053
posted fic with sulwen: 20,883
(which brings my total posted fic to 142,936 words)

But that's not all. I mean, I am SHOCKED that I wrote more than 120k this year on my own. But listen to this. sulwen and I were both signed up for LBB again, and we both had problems with our fics, and on the very same day, we both planned to drop out of the challenge (which I hate doing). So to keep from dropping out, we teamed up and started outlining the fic we had both dreamed of, the one nobody would ever in a million years write for us. This was in October. Since then (and the fic is only about 80% finished so far), we have written about 124,500 words together on it. That's almost the same as I wrote solo all year. My mind was blown. Especially once I added all my writing solo and with her together: 267,436. That is a fucking ridiculous amount of words, you guys. I'm pretty pleased. It's hard for me to even remember writing all those fics earlier in the year, because our LBB took over my life, and I can't even think about what it was like before it wasn't a part of my life. That and all our notfic which we desperately want to write but can't until LBB is finished. Finding an amazing writing partner is pretty much the best thing ever. We are constantly inspired to write more.

So for the new year, the pressure is on. We have to finish our LBB by our posting date in January, and we each have a bandomreversebb fic to work on, and I have to get everything together to shoot my film in February (and March). And then I have to find a job and a place to live and graduate, holy fuck. More immediately: I have to pack. I've been home since Thanksgiving and I'm heading back to Savannah at ass o'clock in the morning tomorrow. Then all that other shit can start.

Overall, I think it's been a great year. But I have high hopes for this next one. :)


btw, all of my bandom and glam fic is up at archive of our own, and all my cowritten fic with sulwen is and will be posted there exlusively. I will probably keep posting solo fic there and here on lj for the foreseeable future. If I ever get the time, I'll work on transferring all my lotrips fic over to AO3 as well, so everything can be in one place, but who knows when that will happen. :P

♥

drawing! today was supposed to be our final grade day for this first pose, but we did the critique and then he gave us another week to fix it up even more. \o/? I really don't have a lot to do with mine. darken a few things, straighten my horizon line, that's about it. I was actually impressed with the progress a lot of other people made; there were some pretty impressive drawings up on the wall. of course, there were also a bunch of crappy ones. :\ anyway, then we started our next drawing, which is our relining/foreshortened pose, and we have a male model this time. I'm not sure whether to be disappointed or glad that from my angle I can't even see his dick. :P here's my sketch of the pose, which I think is a really great pose, and one that I imagine a lot.

had to rush back and drop off my shit to get to practicum on time. I got there like 5 minutes late (not that it matters to them), and helped carry a ladder into the theatre, and then Jeremy came in and told us all we weren't needed and could go home and still count our three hours. so I worked for about 2 minutes and got dismissed with full credit. FUCK YEAH. damn practicum. hahahahahaha fucking practicum.

I finally finished reading dancinbutterfly's bbb fic, You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison. there's a lot of pairings I don't normally read--hell, a lot of characters I don't normally read--but it's a really engaging, angsty story, and Frank's in the mafia so you know I couldn't resist that. I got totally into all of the storylines even though I usually don't get invested in characters other than MCR, so you should check it out because it's really good.

I need to read a play and a chapter of my textbook tonight (fuck, it's already almost 1am), and I haven't worked on my bbb in forever so I need to get in gear there, BUT. I want to do this meme. it's the DVD Commentary Meme! Ask me stuff, I can talk about writing for... a long time.

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

I just now updated my index, so all my fics are here.

OH MY GOD IT'S TIME FOR bandombigbang AGAIN! I'm ridiculously excited, even though I don't know what I'm going to write. I signed up for Wave Two, because 1) it gives me a bit more time and I'm not afraid of the higher wordcount, and 2) the deadlines actually fit into my calendar a bit better. I'm still thinking about signing up to do art as well, but I keep going back and forth. It would be fun, but I don't even know what I'm writing yet, or how intensive it will be towards the end, but art probably won't take me AGES to finish, but all the deadlines coincide with writer deadlines so I'd need to be on the ball... I really kinda want to do it, though. :| :| :|

I chatted with wonder_walldbc about my screenplay idea, and got to talking about BBB as well, and I convinced her to go ahead and sign up too. I might possibly continue to write my NaNo fic, which was mainly Frank/Jamia, orrrr I might drag another old WIP out of my fathomless file of unfinished fic, or I might try to write something new, I don't know. I'm leaning towards the Frank/Jamia fic, though. Or one of the others. Maybe the slave one, I love that fic. :D :D :D I AM SO EXCITED. We're now discussing her plot ideas. I'm excited for her fic too. :D :D :D :D :D I love BBB season.

This has reminded me, however, that the no_tags deadline is coming up REALLY FUCKING FAST and I haven't even gotten to the meat of my fic yet. I'm probably just under halfway. Just need to get my ass in gear. There's absolutely no reason for me to be procrastinating on this fic. And yet I am.

I've been struggling with an idea for my screeplay class for three days, and I think Megan and I finally got something solid I can move forward with. Or at least approach my professor with. All the other ideas I had were just ideas, and not plots, which is my whole problem. When I'm writing fic, I get an idea and I write it, and as I develop the characters, the plot naturally comes out. For this class, he wants us to plan everything out beforehand, and I don't normally work that way, so coming up with the plot first was hard. But I've got something I like, so I think I'm good.

I do still need to write a little tiny webisode script for my lighting and field class, but that only needs to be like, 5 pages or something super short like that. And it only needs to be episode 1 of a series which we don't have to write. heh. :\ LOTS OF WRITING TO GET DONE. I still need to 1) read my screenplay book and 2) write a book report on it, but that deadline is very flexible; the guy just said "get it done, uh... when you have time..." because he knows nobody likes reading textbooks. lol

Ben's shoot went well; hung out with him and undersea after, and even chatted with her a bit once I got back to my room (I'm amused by this, since we're just a parking lot away from each other), and I'm sorta planning on going to improv with them tomorrow night. If things go well.

ETA: Frank is the most ridiculously adorable ever.

( frank frank frank, JUST BECAUSE I CAN )

1. i stayed up until 4am. WHY? whyyyy? i was writing shit, and it really is shit, it's completely self-indulgent crap that i don't even want to show anyone, and like, it was 2 and then i looked up and it was 3 and then i looked up again and it was 4 and i was like FUCK THIS, I NEED SLEEP. and therefore slept until 10:30 with an eyemask on because it was already getting lighter and fucking birds were ALREADY CHIRPING at 4am and so when i took it off, i was nearly BLINDED because even though it's overcast today, it's still BRIGHT AS FUCK. happily, i had a snuggly fluffy sleepy lump next to me. (side note: mcr, pls post pictures of various dogs in various guitar cases FOREVER.)

2. i just kept pressing snooze and only really woke up because i got a phone call. from my friend, who is in the recital, and who will be the only good thing about probably humiliating myself today. i've only been practicing this song for like, a week and a half, and i have it memorized again, but it's not... great. and i'm going to be wearing bright hot pink shirts and gigantic fuck-off heels that hurt my feet, and tights that undoubtedly make my thighs look huge, and a miniskirt. IS THAT 80s ENOUGH FOR YA? i've resigned myself to looking like an idiot, but i am going to OWN IT, BABY, and be comforted by the fact that the other costumes will be much more ridiculous than mine.

3. apparently some mcr fan has been spamming the entire band with a link to her fanfic, and she finally got one of them to respond. ray. i saw that and nearly died of motts, not even joking. and then i clicked it, saw gerard's name at the top, and was absolutely horrified. RAY, I'M SO SORRY. he actually read it, i think. I COULDN'T EVEN READ IT. i was too overcome by the motts. i just made disgusted noises and flapped my hands at my computer and tried to erase it from my brain. perhaps ray did the same.

4a. my dad and i watched the top gear goes to america episode, and i love watching top gear with him 'cause it actually makes him laugh for real, and it's so hilarious. i love top gear.

4b. since tomorrow's father's day and i don't have any kind of present at all, and my mom and sister are going to be gone all day, maybe i could take my dad out to see the hangover? it's the only movie i can think of that would be good. he's already seen star trek, we went to angels & demons a week or so ago, and UP is more of a whole-family type movie. and transformers = hell no. but i've heard good things about hangover. whaddya think?

4c. tomorrow is also my BBB POSTING DAAAAAAAY. so exciteddddddddd. omg, i'm so freaking excited, you don't even know. well, giddy_london probably knows. i am so happy with the fic, and the ART, and the MIX (which i have been listening to like, NONSTOP) and ahhhhh i am so ready to post this shit.

5. how completely ADORABLE is this? :D :D :D and i won! i was not expecting that at all. i almost didn't put my name in, that's how much i was not expecting to win. hahahaha. ♥____♥

1. GO READ THE THIRD INSTALLMENT OF UNHOLYVERSE. and if you haven't read Unholyverse, GO DO THAT. It is by bexless and it is amazing and owns my soul. Even if you're not into bandom at all, you should read this fic. It is seriously that amazing. It's like C-verse for lotrips, only with less kinky sex. hahaha

2. I don't think I posted about this (though I twittered/facebooked/flailed at people in gchat), but I FINALLLLLLLY finished writing my BBB fic. Yeah, I know it's almost the end of the month, shut up. IT WILL GET EDITED, I SWEAR. Just.... very very quickly. :\ BUT IT'S DONE, and that's the point, and it's something like 57k and it's EPIC, OKAY, and I am still in love with it and cannot WAIT for you guys to read it.

3. I reinstalled my drivers and managed to fix my audio and DVD-player computer issues. THEREFORE: LOTMS TONIGHT. It was great, and the video wasn't even jumpy and stuttery. I LOVE THIS BAND.

( 4. I fucked up my journal layout, sorry; 5. school is so close to being done I can taste it. )

6. I still have 2 Dreamwidth invite codes. Comment or send me a message with your email address if you want one.

So I've realized why I haven't been posting anything lately. It's because as soon as whatever it is happens, I tell Raquel, and then I FORGET it. Seriously, I don't know if I can remember everything that I've wanted to say here in the past... what, week? Or so. Anyway, here's what I CAN remember of the big important things.

1) Piano recital. ( It went... okay. )

Oh, also, my teacher's having ANOTHER recital, for all the seniors she teaches, since we'll all be leaving next year. It's in June, I think, and I need a song for it. ANY IDEAS? I want something that's very me. Maybe something by John Williams, or another movie theme. Sadly, I've already played most of the Lord of the Rings music, and besides that, it's not quite hard enough. Hmmm.

2) FREAK WEATHER OMG.
- It is now spring, and it has been snowing practically every day since, I dunno, last week sometime.
- At this very moment, it's snowing and storming, sort of. Kind of like graupel, only... not? I don't know, it's weird.
- It now feels like Dazzle broke my kneecap with her skull as she was running away from the door in terror after hearing thunder. OWW.

3) ( School! )

4) My art project is coming along nicely. I have pictures that I haven't uploaded to my computer yet, and continuing the whole paper mache process is on my list of things to do whenever I find the time to get messy. As is uploading the photos. Not that that's messy, just that.. erm, nevermind.

5) If you somehow missed the other post, VOTE FOR DAZZLE, SO SHE CAN WIN STUFF!

6) Oh yes, before I forget (again). giddy_london and pippinmctaggart: I watched Top Gear this weekend. And kinda fell in love with it. As did the rest of my family. Yeah, it's like, completely awesome. LOL

7) Megan: ♥ *HUGS*

8) Because I can't leave it at just 7. OH, now I remember what I was going to say! I saw The Other Boleyn Girl. Hmm. Yeah, that definitely needs a post of its own.

okay, so I registered for classes. Italian 103, King Arthur, and Intro to Sex & Sexuality. I think. stupid bookstore won't let me look up the textbooks yet, though, which sucks. and there's a minor flaw in my plan: the King Arthur one is online, and I currently hate Vista Blackboard with a fiery passion.

god, I'm tired. I had to leave early today to get a form signed and turned in, and of course the "visitor and staff" parking lot near the door was all filled up with staff; no room for visitors. what kind of sense does that make, I ask you? the only empty spots were waaaaay in the back of the school, and when I finally got into the office, I was all set to be pissy and annoyed, but the guy's just so damned cheerful, I couldn't help but be nice. >.< LOL

*sneezes* I have a sore throat and am sneezing and have a runny nose and am tired and lethargic. I think I'm getting sick. blaaahhh. *headdesk*

ok, and how many fics do I have in progress at the moment? about 13 that I'm still enthusiastic about. MADNESS, I TELL YOU. 4 of those are currently open on my computer, so I've been dabbling at them. also, I'll take this moment to pimp monaboyd_month, because it looks like it's gonna be awesome. the whole month is gonna be like one big monaboyd party. :P I think it's a fantastic idea.

oh, I got my portfolio together. am missing 2 photos, and one needs to be redone because it's blurry. *sigh* why can't stuff like this just be easy? they don't give near enough guidelines, either. it'd be better for them to say a format and stuff, but NOOOooooOOOooo. >.<

ooookay, my eyes can't focus anymore. I need to go to bed. shit, the fucking trash, dammit. okay, take the trash out, and then go to bed.

and omg that 5 favorites music meme I've been tagged for by a few people? VERY HARD TO DECIDE.

Kevin picked me up after school and promptly took me to Quiznos, since neither of us had eaten. we had a lovely little lunch meeting during which he outlined his questions and everything, and I listened and agreed. then we went off to Intel to meet this guy who turned out to be the very definition of adorkable. he's a genius, and he's cute, and he reminded me of Marco from The 4400 (do any of you watch that show?). he was so cute, I could hardly stand it. and his office, oh my GOD. it was amazingly cool. I was blown away by the coolness. there were entire walls of whiteboards, with equations and graphs and sketches and notes all over them in different colors and handwritings, and there were electronics on every surface, and there were robots everywhere, and all the desks were like work tables with about 5 humongous flat-screen monitors, and all the people I saw were young, adorkable geeks like this guy. it was awesome. so anyway, the actual interview went well, and I got most of what I wanted, and now I just have to go over to Kevin's sometime (probably over the weekend) to edit it together. I already know what I'm going to do in my mind (I should probably take notes before I forget, actually). my mom told me to pack a toothbrush in case I go over there and get so caught up in editing that it'd be easier to just spend the night. lol

reminds me, I need to email cuteguy about filming on the 23rd.
...and call Augie back, because I never did this afternoon. *facepalm* we were having SUCH a great conversation, too; I only hung up because class was starting. lol

also, there's some sort of film group I can submit a script to, but I think the deadline's somewhere in mid-Feb, and I just don't think I'm as fast at writing scripts as I am stories...

eta: also on my to do list - kidnap raquel and stow away on a boat to nz. how much do you think we could charge for mind-reading tricks? we could live in a hobbit hole. until we get kicked out when they start filming the hobbit, that is. lol

ok, list of stuff I hafta do tomorrow:

- revise and turn in my facade and juggling vignettes (asdfjlaskjflsjkdf JUGGLING IHU)
- email Kevin omg
- try to extract those stupid fucking dvd files
- read physics and start online hw (which was only posted TONIGHT, WTF. grr, teacher)
- italian hw
- paint 
eta: read history. stupid history. >.<

hm, what am I missing?

in other news, I slept until almost noon today, which was quite lovely. but then I ate breakfast and then nothing until dinner, so I completely pigged out on pizza, and now I kinda feel sick and gross. >.<

I think I had a bit of a breakthrough on my painting (hopefully). AH, THAT'S WHAT'S MISSING. *adds to list* anyway. I need to finish that and start a new one, like, really soon. like, tomorrow. hopefully.

oh, I stayed up late last night reading and reviewing vignettes from my fiction classmates, and I just have to say something: after reading all those, I feel like the majority of you guys on my flist are better writers than the guys in my class. ♥ there were a couple of pieces that I really enjoyed, though.

and randomly, I just realized how much I'm gonna miss my best friend here when I go off to college. we get half an hour of girl-talk time on fridays, and last week was really good for some reason (though, omg we are such gossips. LOL). I should have her over sometime soon... when she came over to help clean the house before the holidays, we stayed up SO LATE just talking. and now I'm making myself kinda sad, so I'll stop there.

oh, but omg, the new girl in my art class is SO ANNOYING. (she's not really new, but she's new compared to how long we've been doing art with the same little group). so I was talking to my friend in her bedroom before art, and the girl comes in, and I was trying to tell some story or other, and she totally interrupts me and starts just rambling on about something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. my friend is just looking at me like O___o and I'm looking back at her like O___O!! with my mouth kind of hanging open in shock, and when the girl finally stops talking, there's one of those weird, awkward silences, wherein I say "...SO ANYWAY" and try to pick up where I left off. that wasn't the first time she'd done that, but it was definitely one of the most OBVIOUS and ANNOYING times. she's just, like.. completely lacking in social etiquitte. omg. >.<

sorry to go all 'preteen girl' on you there, but she just bugs the hell out of me. let's see, how many times did I say "like" in that paragraph? wow, only 3? I said it more in my head, believe me. LOL anyway, that's all the inane rambling I'll subject you to tonight. I'm off to bed.

long day today. watched the second half of ttt and the first half of rotk tonight. cannot stay awake. will watch second half tomorrow, if all goes well. so sleepy.

tomorrow: must write nano fic. srsly.